Bird Island

It began as a dream. One day Enoch Allred glanced at a map of Utah Lake to discover that it had an island! And this wasn't just any island, it was "Bird Island." At once his imagination conjured images of ancient ruins inhabited by the ferocious bird people in Greek togas. It was a mystery that had to be explored, and he knew that only one companion would be suitable for the adventure: me. Unfortunately, I was on my mission at the time, but a few weeks after my return, Enoch and I, and my brother Eric, set forth on a mystical voyage. As we paddled a canoe through terrible heat, our muscles aching, the prospects of ever reaching the island seemed dim, but we persevered, and by and by we landed on Provo's own Isle of Avalon, the forbidden domain of the birds. No sooner did we land, than hoards of pelicans and seagulls fled in disgrace, known that their conquerors had arrived.

The mountain in the distance isn't Bird Island. Bird Island is actually a pathetic little sand bar, the shore of which is showing in the bottom right. Yes, though we came with high hopes, it turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. There were no ancient ruins, and the place reeked like nothing else, covered with briers, spiders and the remains of dead fish. It was what we more or less expected in the back of our minds, but the folklore was more fun to believe. So soon after conquering the island and heading back toward the civilized world, we continued to develop the folklore of our awesome adventure. Hence, five years later, the squawks of birds began to stir the soul of Eric, and as if a revelation, he knew that it was time to return and reek our vengeance on the birds, reclaiming our Avalon. So we did.

This time, Teresa and Eric's girlfriend Erin (who's taking the picture), accompanied our fellowship. And this time, the island was even more pathetic, about half the size it had been before. There were no spiders and no odious stench. However, rather than swimming away, the birds remained on the island until we ran toward them. So sudden was their flight that the sky was darkened all around us as hundreds of birds flew every which way. It was surreal, far more entertaining than anything you can get at any aviary.

And so, after eating a bunch of Starbursts and some turkey sandwiches, we went home, anticipating our next great adventure when, once again, the birds call.